Falcons 2017 - 2018

Langton Green Falcons 5 Hastings Utd 1

Sunday 17th September - 11:30am ko at Groombridge.

Match reporter: Colin Campbell

It was as I looked through the long undergrowth behind the goal for the match ball kicked into the bushes in the opening minutes of the match that I copped the dreaded match report.

The tactical late arrival of several others, who shall remain nameless, left me the obvious target for an apologetic Steve.

Before my first notes were made with knackered biro on a scrap of ketchup stained paper, the ball had already caressed the back of the net twice. We all feared Hastings would be formidable opposition, but the Falcons were dominating.

Goal one was a Ben R slot home in the first minutes, the second a Lewie C surging run from midfield. In truth, the Falcons put Hastings on the back foot from the get go and then throughout. Our passing was sharp and intricate, our runs fast and multi-directional. The Falcons defence was impressive, as always our goalie Dan on his toes.

But this was a physical game and both sides battled hard. Joey and Ben were felled and subbed off, leaving the Falcons temporarilly neutralised up front. But hang on, here comes Josh B. In the box, dummy right, shoot with his left. Three nil.

The Falcons' attacks were relentless, the ball often spread wide to Harry, who supplied a stream of perfect crosses. Luca forging forward, skilling his way towards goal with footwork a ballerina would be proud of. At the back, an impervious wall of steel and speed, Kaan, Harvey and Dan.

But the Falcons' defender Harvey G featured at both ends of the pitch. Another perfectly delivered corner dropped to Harvey in the middle of the box. A back heel? Or was it his backside/hip? Anyway it was in the net - 4-1. Cue crazy Mum dancing on sidelines from ecstatic parent Sharon in the style of MC Hammer!

You notice I missed the opposition's goal and a Hastings yellow card. Oops was talking about my hangover at that stage.

The first half was a stressful watch, a bit like eating chilli: painful but enjoyable and left wanting more.

Round two, but could the Falcons hold on to the score line?

The Falcons just continued with their attractive football, Josh B winning balls, Harry sending in curling passes behind the Hastings defence, often with Joey on the end of them. Dan B made a few great runs but also several goal-saving interceptions.

Then came the controversial moment of the match, a hastily produced red card for a Hastings player. From the sideline it was clear Hastings were being frustrated by a well-organised side. A few minutes after the red came a yellow for my own son. Ouch, I am told I owe a tenner. Instead, can I ask he just puts his boxer shorts in the dirty laundry for a month, or perhaps not take his phone to bed every night? [Editor’s note: yes, you can]

Lewie peppered the Hastings goal on several occasions. But it finished 5-1, a final goal coming from Joey, who confidently placed it into the side of the net in one of his many sprinting runs that sliced the Hastings defence in two.

All the boys played brilliantly including our new signings Victor and George.


TW Foresters 0 Langton Green Falcons 5

Sunday 10 September - 10:30ko at Southwood Road, Rusthall

Match reporter: Alastair Cameron

The first match of the new football season and how unlucky can you be to cop the first match report.   I had forgotten all the old tricks of arriving late and lurking behind bushes to avoid the dreaded approach from Steve.  A “just say no” campaign was clearly waged from some other parents. Even before the match report disaster, my morning had taken a turn for the worse having begun so well with a gentle stroll to the pitch, the sun was shining, birds singing and even the angelic Lewie had managed to string more than two words together, and then the bombshell was delivered.  “You do know that we now play 40 minutes each way.”  My life is over….!

There was some nervous discussions amongst the coaches as by 1000 the team was only about nine strong and some doubt about there being enough players. However, it all came good in the end and a full complement of boys and a sub appeared as if by magic.  A good time to welcome Victor to the team!

I’m not sure if other parents have noticed the ageing and shrinking effect that standing in wet and windy grass fields is having on us, as most of us are now lower than the boys.  Just to set the scene for our first match, we had a “proper” referee, a short and narrow pitch, a very long pair of shorts and a formal circular handshake on the pitch. Captain Kaan won the toss and elected to kick downhill, and the game got underway with a steady start.   It really looked like the training throughout the summer holidays had paid off as the boys seemed keen to make the most of the full pitch with cautious play and good ball control at both ends of the field.

The Falcons started to look dominating after about 10 minutes and there were several opportunities and a corner shot, but none hit home.   Then at 1042 Joey put the ball firmly into the net to put us at 1 – Nil This inspired Harvey to take a power shot that cleared the goal and most of the hedge behind – Lost Ball #1. Ben took a couple of shots over the next few minutes but we still remained at 1 – Nil.  Not a lot happened on the pitch for the next 15 minutes (or I nodded off).  Then Harvey managed to foul Kyle, who took the free-kick and Dan made a cracking save. Victor made his debut after being subbed on for Harry and got straight into the action.  

A few minutes later it appeared the ball was in the goal but there was no excitement to claim it from the boys, so “play on”.   A decisive goal from Ben just before half-time brought the score to 2 – Nil, inspiring Lewie to make a long run with the ball but in the end he passed it and the half time whistle was blown. Foresters came onto the pitch and moved the play into our end and seemed to have a new lease of life, but we soon got things back our way, Harry came back on and Luca went off.  A long cross from Victor to Ben and that made 3 – Nil. 

The pressure was on now from Foresters and Dan was earning his keep with some great saves. Foresters managed two corners in a row but that’s as far as it went, apart from Lost Ball #2. Play moved into the opposition’s half and Luca got hold of the ball, ran around the keeper and let the ball casually roll into the net, making 4 – Nil, and Lost Ball #3. 1155 (surely it will all be over soon?) Joey makes the score 5 – Nil and five minutes later the full-time whistle was blown. 

An excellent start to the season and it’s worth adding a few comments to the victory.  Maybe George needs to reflect if he made the right move, especially as it seems to have made Mark half the man he was!   And although it wasn’t supposed to be mentioned, an avocado in Ben’s smoothie certainly did the trick; unbelievable that parents lie and say “of course it was banana”!